(CEO)—Not since Donald Trump was caught bragging about grabbing women by their lady parts on a hot microphone. Has, the felonious predator, made such an illogical decision as selecting JD Vance as his MAGA-running-mate. As more bizarre details of “Shady” Vance’s sexual inclinations emerge. Less than a week removed from his public denial that he habitually f*cked couch cushions as a young man. A fact Vance still hasn’t contradicted up until this point. Yet it was confirmed that he never documented it in his fabricated memoir “Hillbilly Elegy”.
Now it’s come to light that Vance posted on X a video of a woman being romantically ridden by a dolphin back in February. No not a woman riding a dolphin which lots of egotistical white people love to do. By paying exorbitant amounts of money on their dream Caribbean vacation to appease their bucket list. Simply to chase the dopamine intoxication they rely upon to survive, from the social media likes it yields. No this was straight-up graphic doggy dolphin-style pornography. Something Vance pretended to stumble across while wandering through the uncharted waters of the interweb. But upon further review, it appears there was nothing random about his nautical bestiality discovery. As Vance’s own search criteria were revealed to be “woman/dolphin”.
These two words are considered harmless all by themselves. But once you ask Jeeves to investigate both words in conjunction. Any internet-savvy individual would expect a “Debbie Does Dolphins” adaptation at the top of the suggestion list. Trump cannot be pleased that in one short week, the favored Google results for the MAGA brand have deteriorated. Devolving from the short-lived “Trump Assassination Attempt” followed up by “JD Vance Sex With Couch Cushion” to the current “JD Vance Dolphin Porn Enthusiast” preferred search. It certainly was not the optimistic payoff Trump had anticipated. After he first caught wind that his VP nominee was going viral online.
My fear is Trump’s patience is rapidly wearing thin over Vance’s utter lack of presentability. After being downright entertained by Trump’s campaign’s total meltdown since the addition of JD. So before the logical conclusion of Trump unceremoniously disowning Vance occurs. I would just like to personally thank Don Jr and Tucker Carlson for convincing the MAGA deity on his hilarious VP selection. To take a flyer on such an unpopular dolphin porn aficionado/recovering couch f*cker as your second in command. Was a dreadful political move by every statistical standard but a gift from the comedy-Gods. Thankfully it’s insufferable assholes such as JD Vance that somehow unify a divided nation virtually overnight. So regardless of your political beliefs in the modern-day United States of America. Nobody in this country voluntarily endorses a misogynistic pile of shit. Just as long as they speak disparagingly about Jennifer Aniston and or cats.
The-Anti-Social-Media Pro-DEMOCRACY WING 